It seems that, in today's society, there is a well-established understanding that children are manipulative and selfish. We expect that, given the opportunity, they will take advantage of any situation. Consequently, we have collectively decided that it is the role of the parent to control children's behaviors and decisions with constant directives.
"Don't touch that."
"Calm down."
"Share your toys."
"Say 'thank you'."
Certainly, there are times where safety is an issue and parent intervention is needed. However, with regard to daily behaviors, what if we shifted our general perception of children? What if, instead of expecting them to manipulate, we trusted them to do the right thing? (They should be familiar with 'the right thing', as that is something we are constantly modeling for them- right?) What if we trusted them to handle items appropriately, once we identified them as delicate? What if we honored their tantrums instead reacting to our own discomfort and embarrassment? What if we allowed them to express generosity and gratitude only when they were genuinely felt?
I would like to suggest that children are not the monsters that we make them out to be. They are far more capable than we allow, and when we shift our own approach, we begin to quickly see how competent and compassionate they can be.
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